Wednesday, March 23, 2011


I told my parents about the MRI thing tonight, about what happened at the theatre,  and the referral to neurology, and waiting to hear back about when the test will be,  and i told them its not really a big deal.  That there's no point in worrying until somebody has answers, that it would be silly to get worked up about something that might be nothing.

I told them all the things i've been telling myself all week.

But when i told them that i had given their number to my friends in case anything DID happen again, thats when my mom just started to cry and cry and cry.

There was a thick silence right before the sobs welled up, that tiny space in time where her brain calculated all the long distances between us,  and all the terrible great unknowns, and all the what ifs and all the possible outcomes and end points.

Later, there was a scramble of words, as she tried to fix it, as though she could just Mom the situation into something acceptable for all of us.

Silence again, when she couldn't.